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Monty Python quotes

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Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Monty Python quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
 oraclejenn

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“'Tis but a scratch'
'A scratch?! Your arm's off!'
'No, it isn't.'”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
 heebie_jeebie

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok”

 Monty Python quote

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“'What? Ridden on a horse?'
'Yes'
'You're using coconuts!'
'What?'
'You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!'
'So?'”
 funky_music25

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!”
 mojomonkey77

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.”
 mojomonkey77

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
 Irishphoenix

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