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“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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11-20 Quotations of 116

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“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Sex quotes.
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“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes.
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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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