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“Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)

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“A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.”
evanesce03 Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.”
jake11 Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
Elisabeth Foley quotes
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“Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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“What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.”
Dennis Miller quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1953)
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