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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteScientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteSharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThe simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteCigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteAlthough golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteNever under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

 Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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