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“In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abscess.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Boredom quotes, Words quotes.
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“The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Government quotes.
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“I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Music quotes.
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“Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Time quotes, Technology quotes.
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“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Internet quotes, Pornography quotes.
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“If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Global Warming quotes.
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“The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The members took turns lighting sparklers and signing their John Hancocks to the Declaration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write John Hancock.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Work quotes.
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