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“If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea what popular Turkish music is like.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)

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“And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“Among the many thousands of things that I have never been able to understand, one in particular stands out. That is the question of who was the first person who stood by a pile of sand and said, "You know, I bet if we took some of this and mixed it with a little potash and heated it, we could make a material that would be solid and yet transparent. We could call it glass." Call me obtuse, but you could stand me on a beach till the end of time and never would it occur to me to try to make it into windows.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can't make your children carry.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“To an American the whole purpose of living, the one constant confirmation of continued existence, is to cram as much sensual pleasure as possible into one's mouth more or less continually. Gratification, instant and lavish, is a birthright.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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