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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
Annie Dillard quotes (American Author. Won a Pulitzer prize for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, 1975. b.1945)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Religion quotes.
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“A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes.
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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”
Alexai Sayle quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, God quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark”

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“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Funny quotes, World quotes.
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“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives”
Sue Murphy quotes
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“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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