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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”

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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Foolishness quotes, Women quotes.
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“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”
sunkissd248
Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes (American "hierarchiologist", Educator and Writer, 1919-1990)
Similar Quotes. About: Communication quotes, Funny quotes, Anger quotes, Speech quotes.
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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Cats quotes.
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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Optimism quotes.
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