Quotation:11-20 Quotations of 95 Users who liked this quote also liked: “‘Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that. "Cake or death?" "Eh, cake please." "Very well! Give him cake!" "Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice." "You! Cake or death?" “Uh, cake for me, too, please." "Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?" "Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..." "You said death first, uh-uh, death first!" "Well, I meant cake!" "Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!" Cake or death?"” | choemke Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“And they always find in archeology “a series of small walls.” Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. “We’ve found a series of small walls, we’re very excited… I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and… a series of small wall people.” And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, “Of course, the king and queen entertained here… 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there… A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater…” And you’re just watching, and going, “You’re making this up, mate! You’re just pointing at a series of small walls, going, ‘there, there… Tutankhamen playing banjo in there…’ Don’t know if it’s true.”” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”
The next week, I think, people are coming back, going, “Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.”” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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