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“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
crzmunkey45 Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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