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“I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)

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“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Marriage quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid.”
sonovabich Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”

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