Thinkexist Quotations

My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".'”
chrisleeindy Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
About: Food quotes, Funny quotes, Bureaucracy quotes.
Add to Chapter...

21-30 Quotations of 239

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Comedy quotes, Laziness quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.”
Str4wb3rry Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck.”
unsexypenguin Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...”
Str4wb3rry Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Comedy quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.”
iforget Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016