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“Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is in control. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on the living in the land of freedom. Here you go America - you are free to do what well tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.”
Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.”
Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.”
Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.”
Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“People say "Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world". Yeah, maybe, but you know what, after the first 3 largest armies, there's a REAL big fucking drop-off. The Hare Krishnas are the 5th largest army in the world, and they've already got all our airports.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in right now here man. I think God put you here to test my faith, Dude. You believe that? "Uh huh." Does that trouble anyone here? The idea that God.. might be...fuckin' with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God running around: "Hu hu ho. We will see who believes in me now, ha HA.”
xxxbefxxx Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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“I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
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