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“Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.”
Jenny0103 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, God quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Funny quotes, Mankind quotes, Enemies quotes, Alcohol quotes.
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”
Harry S Truman quotes (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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