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Eddie Izzard quotes

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British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962
Eddie Izzard quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“So my choice is 'Or Death?'.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house
arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged
seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it
is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler
killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't
stand for that, will we?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“There’s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn’t say, “I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.””
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fuckin' squirrel!”
 spiderswebb11uk

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist!

“I’ve done your dog. It’s got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?”

“Fido looks a bit weird.””
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”

The next week, I think, people are coming back, going,
“Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.””
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“'ello, Sue. I've got legs. Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. Bye! I love you”
 AngelFire

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I'm a one-man idiot”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“And there’s others like taxidermist! You can’t just go, “Oh, I was just working at the chip shop, and I just started stuffing animals with sand,” you know? You’ve gotta want to be! “I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.””
 Arco

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