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Eddie Izzard quotes

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British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962
Eddie Izzard quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“What have you been reading, the gospel according to St. Bastard?”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Never put a sock in a toaster.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can
swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be
banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you.
That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in
the distance.”
 maaatin

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die”
 huntingyoudown

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“You know, Catholicism, we believed in the teachings of Cathol, and everything it stood for...”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“And they always find in archeology “a series of small walls.” Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. “We’ve found a series of small walls, we’re very excited… I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and… a series of small wall people.” And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, “Of course, the king and queen entertained here… 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there… A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater…” And you’re just watching, and going, “You’re making this up, mate! You’re just pointing at a series of small walls, going, ‘there, there… Tutankhamen playing banjo in there…’ Don’t know if it’s true.””
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then!"”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!”
 Arco

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